And There It Is

A quick history note: For years (literally), I have wondered if I should be going into full-time youth ministry. I even spent my freshman year of college thinking I was a Christian Education major. Youth ministry has always appealed to me, for a variety of reason. My youth pastors had some powerfully positive influences on me. I think I build good rapport with students. I’m a decent public speaker. And, most importantly, I always feel fulfilled when I do it. Like I was doing the right thing.

But I struggled with a full-time calling for one main reason—I never really felt called to go out and be a youth pastor as much as I felt called to the church I was at. I love working with the youth at my church now (as I did in CA), but I never really wanted to move to Georgia or Oregon or wherever to work with youth. I don’t even want to go to a church around the corner. I’ve always only been interested in working with the students I know at the church I’m at. But I’ve always had this lingering feeling that I should be doing more.

Fast forward.

Three hours ago, I talked about being “shaped to serve Christ”, the fourth “answer” to the question “What on earth am I here for?” from SYM’s Welcome to the Planet Super-Series. It’s just a different way at getting at Rick Warren's five purposes (see: Purpose-Driven Life, Church, etc). Planet is a good series and I’ve been enjoying teaching it.

One of the key points I made tonight was about how true joy and satisfaction and right-ness is only experienced when we are living a life of service. That we won’t know the “abundant life” Jesus promised until we start thinking about serving others instead of how we will be served, that we contribute instead of consume. Mainly talked from Mark 8:34-38 and Matthew 20:26-28.

But it wasn’t until I was driving home from dropping off some students and I was reflecting on how the night went that it hit me. Maybe the reason I always feel good about being in youth ministry is simply because I’m serving.

I believe that God has shaped us all differently to complete and complement the body of Christ. I mean, that’s what 1 Corinthians 12 is all about. And there’s certainly a satisfaction that comes from using your gifts and talents in their fullness. But I think a large part of that joy comes from the act of service itself.

One of the lines from this lesson that’s sticking with me is “we are never more like Christ than when we serve”. The totality of Christ’s mission was to, in the old Hard Rock Cafe slogan, “Love All. Serve All.” From those two concepts flowed His entire ministry with the end result “to give his life as a ransom for many.”

I may still be called to full-time ministry. My buddy Chad didn’t hear it until he was in his 30’s. But now he and his family are uprooting and moving all the way across the world. That may be me some day. But to get there, if that’s what God wants of me, I think I had to get past this confliction about what my ministry was supposed to be.

I can feel good about being involved in youth ministry. Even that I’m being used by God and am doing the right thing. But all that doesn’t mean I have to drop everything and go to seminary. There’s a joy that every believer, no matter what role they’re playing in the local church, should have. And it comes from simply serving. Where you are, with what you’ve got. That’s it.

It took me years to realize that being a Christian isn’t being part of some big, grandiose ministry where thousands are reached daily and the heathens are converted en masse. It’s a daily (and sometimes hourly) choice to submit my will to that of Christ. To seek to shape my attitude to His. To seek His voice in the Bible. And to speak to Him in prayer. To die to self.

When I do that, I can be used. Oftentimes in small ways. God didn’t (necessarily) call me out of my sin to be the next Billy Graham. Or even the next Doug Routledge or Jim Roberts (my youth pastors growing up). He called me to serve Him as best I can, wherever I am.

Maybe God has something “bigger” in store for me. We’ll see. I think wiping away these cobwebs will help make anything else that might come along a little clearer. But for now, I can find joy and peace and happiness and satisfaction in what I’m doing as it is. I know that I serve a wonderful, loving God who promises me that when I give it all up, I’ll get back something better that I could have ever gotten on my own. Letting go is my job; what happens after that is God’s.

It seems so simple that I should have realized it years ago. And in some ways I feel stupid for not already having seen it. Maybe I just wasn’t ready yet. Maybe if I’d spent more time reading my Bible it would have hit me sooner. Either way, I’m here now. And I’m glad.

I came across a succinct and inspiring quote while doing some research for tonight:

“In following Christ, we always get more than we give up. What we receive is in a different currency, but it is always more valuable than anything that we yield. We give up our pseudo-self; we find who we really are. We give up fleeting pleasures; we experience true joy, true fellowship, true love.”

Being the part-time youth director at our church can be enough for now. I don’t necessarily have to do more to qualify as serving God. It’s funny, but I’ve been staring the answer in the face for months.

I’ve told my students over and over again that what God wants more than anything is their hearts. That tithing isn’t about your money, it’s about your heart. Worship isn’t about singing, it’s about your heart. Prayer isn’t about asking God for stuff, it’s about your heart.

And here I am. Finally realizing that serving Jesus isn’t about being a youth pastor, it’s about my heart.

Comments

[Chad]

well put. I love the heart in this.

[Joe]

My prayer is that we all give up on the idea that I have "to do more to qualify as serving God". I think that is the mindset of too many youth ministers. The more I do the more I must be serving God.

Sometimes all God wants us to do is just "Be still and listen".

[Doug Routledge]

Doug,
I stumbled onto your blog. I saw my name and read on. Now i will have to spend a few days to search out your spiritual course. Couldn't find your last name, but I think I may know it. How's your family, mutual friends etc...
I'd love to catch up.
Doug